Ask the Therapist

Question: “In watching everything happening in our world, the never-ending violence and divisiveness, it feels like it won’t stop.  I am feeling overwhelmed.  What can I do?”

Dear Reader, 

We are going through an intense portal of change.  How overwhelming it can be to see the deep shadow of our country emerge.  As painful as it is, seeing it in its totality is imperative to the changes that are so desperately needed.  The key is to do this in a compassionate way in our ability to maintain regulation in the process.  If we are going to maintain our energy for what it is going to take to truly rebirth a new way of being in this world – one that is conscious, loving and in service to the whole – will require sustainability.      

Going Into The Dark  

Throughout thousands of years, across cultures, story has been a powerful way to process difficult life material, to make sense of what can seem so insane. There is a Sumerian story about the Goddess, Inanna.  In the story, Inanna had to fall from grace, meet the darkest aspects of herself and die in total helplessness before she could emerge back into the light – transformed forever.  When she returned, she ruled with more consciousness and love than ever before, not just from unconscious greed and desire.  Death requires us to wake up.  It is the ultimate transformer.  How many people heal decades of anger and resistance in the moment before they pass?  Death can cause immense grief and trauma; and it is often that which brings people onto their knees and into their hearts.  What I am asking of you here, is to not look away from what we all often fear the most – the pain of death, the vulnerability and deep self-reflection that transformation requires.   

The Journey Back Into The Light

Each of us were born into this world helpless.  The experience of being an infant, totally at the mercy of our caretakers.  We see at the core of much of our daily resistance is a fight against feeling that way again.  We want to control and hold on.  We want to fix, fight, and run away from that which feels too vulnerable to pain.  The invitation, though, is for you to stop, turn and look towards those feelings, just as Inanna did with her own death.  Only she could face her own shadow, but she was never alone in the process. In one version, her sisters come to sing to her as she lay helpless on a hook in the pit of Hell.  In another, some allies come to help resurrect Inanna directly by her shadowed side coming into a place of total accountability and reparation.  Sometimes we need to sing ourselves into hope and other times, it requires an epic surrender and admitting where we have gone wrong and what we really need to do to make it right.  Love can prevail.  But only if we can truly welcome the pain in the process and make way for what it is teaching us. To face the devastation with a courageously open heart and say, I’m here now in this and I am open to change. 

Giving Change A Chance

What is occurring in our world requires an existential awakening so deep that forces beyond our current understanding need to be called forth in order to face, surrender and act in the wake of such death.  It requires an outrageous strength to be initiated into this level of change, for us to not buckle under the pressure of feelings of helplessness, darkness, and death.  To accept the need that we do actually need each other.  To not be the victim, but to rise to people we are meant to be. 

We are being called to come together in this collective dying process.  Some literally die in the process.  We are being called to wake up.  To be pushed out into the world and see what needs to be done.  To carry the innocent in our arms with such delicacy knowing that they are at the mercy of the greater powers that be.  We are being asked to call those in that seat of power into full accountability so that we can finally rise into the humanity that we know we are.  We are being asked to give change a chance.  To be vulnerable, to face what we fear most and walk together towards transformation.  No one is alone in this.  We must remember that we are one cosmic body, together and no one is beyond the consequence of each individual choice that is made in this experience.  The impact we have through the way we live our daily life, the impact of our words, what we choose to share, support, express.  Can you slow down so much that you see what you yourself are avoiding? It is only then that we can trust that we are moving from a place of truth – not fear. 

Now What? 

Breathe, focus, and stay open to the process – including the pain. And when the time comes – push forward.  This is what mothers are invited to do in the birthing room.  The child itself is being squeezed into new life.  You are birthing yourself and we are birthing our future.  Resistance toward ourselves and each other will only keep us stuck.  We focus on what we want to come moving forward and how we will literally be a part of the change we wish to see.  To know what it is your heart is calling requires going down into your own darkness and resurrecting the truth from the unseen shadows that even you are holding inside.  This starts inside your own being – addressing your own internal tensions.  Remember why you are here and what you are truly wanting to create.  I doubt it is war and violence.  A majority of the collective, when willing to truly surrender beyond our shadows of the past hurts, will see what we want is the same.  Love, Unity, and Freedom for all. Then bring that out into the world, become it, practice it in your friendships, families, and work, see it put into action by those that hold the power.  Advocate for those who are lost in this process.  Step up to the initiation and take care when you can.  Sing and be sung to.   Let death wake you up, PROFOUNDLY.  Don’t wait a moment longer.  Helplessness can turn into Hope and death is not always for nothing but can be for all that is to come.  

With love, 


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